Top 10 Blatant Contradictions in Math
Sorry, matheists, but every thinking person admits that
abstract objects don't exist. Math is just a fairy tale invented
by professors to control their grad students. Pathetically, the
fairy tale isn't even internally consistent:
1. A theorem by Shamir says that IP = PSPACE, but a theorem
by Chang et al. says that there exists an oracle A such that
IPA ≠ PSPACEA.
Every middle school student knows that if you do the same thing
to both sides of an equation, it stays an equation! So much for
matheists' doctrine of "theorem inerrancy".
2. Bell's theorem says that through quantum entanglement,
objects can instantaneously affect each other across arbitrary
distances. But the no-communication theorem says the opposite:
acting on a quantum system has no effect on any entangled
What's more, the no-communication theorem is just plagiarized
from physicists! One of the laws of special relativity says you
can't send a signal faster than the speed of light. Sound
3. Supposedly, 0.999... = 1.
If matheists learned how to use logic, they would immediately
see how silly this is.
4. Taylor's theorem says that every infinitely differentiable
function can be expanded as a Taylor series, but the Taylor
series of exp(-1/x2) around zero is identically zero.
Matheists only buy this stuff because of scare tactics.
They're told that if they don't believe the theorems, they will
not receive eternal employment.
5. A theorem by Johnson says that it takes eΩ(d) books
to build a stack that leans over distance d. But a theorem by
Paterson and Zwick says O(d3) books suffice.
Don't those dumb matheists realize that polynomials grow slower
6. The law of large numbers says that if you keep sampling a
probability distribution, the sample average converges to the
expectation. But a theorem by Poisson says that if you sample
from the standard Cauchy distribution, the sample average still
follows the standard Cauchy distribution.
More like the rule of thumb of large numbers, am I right?
7. Cayley's theorem says that every finite group is a subgroup
of Sn for some n. That means there are only countably
many finite groups. But there are uncountably many distinct
regular polygons (since there are uncountably many side lengths
by a theorem of Cantor), and each has a
finite group of symmetries.
Connect the dots, sheeple. It's not that hard.
8. Gödel's completeness theorem says that the standard
axioms of logic are enough for any proof; no axioms are missing.
But Gödel's incompleteness theorem says that there does not
exist a complete list of axioms; there are always missing axioms.
The contradiction is right there in the names of the theorems!
Maybe matheists would see it if they weren't so brainwashed by
the sermons they're always listening to in classrooms.
9. A standard theorem of Euclidean geometry says that if two solids are
congruent, then they have the same volume. But the Banach-Tarski
paradox says that you can cut a unit ball into five pieces and
rearrange them into two disjoint unit balls.
Let me guess: this theorem was "taken out of context"?
10. Kolmogorov's zero-one law implies that either 100% of numbers have
terminating decimal expansions or else 0% of numbers have
terminating decimal expansions. But some numbers (like 1/2) do
and others (like 1/3) don't.
Remember, just because some old guys published some proofs, that
doesn't make a theorem absolute truth.
[In case it wasn't blindingly obvious, this is satire, intended
to poke fun at lists of "contradictions" in the bible. The
theorems listed on this page are real theorems. The apparent
contradictions can be resolved. References below.]
Chang et al.
Paterson and Zwick